Not Like This
by Indil Elondili
Summary: The Cullens never return. Bella is bitten during a trip home to Phoenix. Now, abandoned by the Culles and cut off from human friends and family, Bella realizes that her former desire for immortailiy had no point without those who would live it with her.


A/N: I don't own Twilight, that genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer

A/N: I don't own Twilight, that genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Some characters are mine, but you will meet them later, and know them as mine. Muwahaha.

This is set during New Moon, after the Cullens leave. Bella doesn't go cliff diving, and thus Alice doesn't see her, so they do not return.

"Are you all set, Bella?" Charlie, sitting on her right, asked for the hundredth time.

Bella sighed as she looked into her bag yet again.

"Yes Dad, I'll be fine."

Bella had just graduated from high school a week and a half ago. Before graduation, Renee called Bella to set up a celebratory visit back to Phoenix. While she was less than thrilled about the party, Bella did miss her mother dearly and did look forward to seeing her again. Now she was sitting in the airport terminal, waiting for her flight.

From her left came a husky chuckle.

"I think she'll be fine, Charlie. I doubt even Bella's luck could get her into trouble in a city the size of Phoenix."

She turned to level a glare at Jacob, though the sight of his happy smile caused her own lips to twitch. She was saved from replying, however, when the voice over the intercom announced,

'_Flight 285 to Phoenix International now boarding. Flight 285 to Phoenix International now boarding.'_

She only smiled as she stood up. Having a rare opportunity to look down at Jacob, she merely patted him on the head. He growled playfully at her and swatted her hand away. Jacob and Charlie stood, and she hugged each of them in turn.

"Don't grow on me anymore, ok Jacob? I don't think I could handle it if you got any taller." He only laughed in response, his short brown hair swaying as he shook his head.

Turning towards Charlie, she showed a rare display of affection by kissing him lightly on the cheek. He blushed, but gave her a fierce hug in return.

"Be careful, Bells. Call me from your mom's house, ok?"

Bella sighed as she walked towards the boarding area.

"I will, Dad."

Satisfied, he stopped to let Jacob walk her the rest of way towards the boarding area. As they neared the door, Jacob stopped and pulled her into another tight hug. Bella sighed, feeling the gaping hole in her chest ease in his embrace. Feeling selfish due to her own shaky emotions, despite Jacob's obvious affection, she snuggled into his arms, basking in his warmth.

The intercom squawked again, calling for the last boarders. The flight attendant, watching them with a patient smile painted onto her face, sighed loudly. Without even glancing at her, Jacob pulled apart from Bella to gaze into her eyes.

"You be careful, Bella," he said, his husky voice serious. "We'll keep an eye on Victoria, but I don't want to hear about anything happening to you while you're away, OK? Be safe."

A look of dismay passed over her face for a split second. Jacob noticed, but attributed it to the reminder of Victoria's danger. Despite the fact that she couldn't get to Bella because of the Quileute pack, Victoria continued to stick around and worry Bella's already taut nerves. Bella shook her head to clear it from both Victoria's threat and the memories that struggled to overwhelm her.

"What would I do without you, Jacob?" She smiled shakily and reached up to ruffle his hair in an effort to relieve the serious mood. Undaunted, he caught her hand and held it to his cheek.

"You know you never have to find out…" he murmured.

She shook her head at him and smiled to hide her dismay. Then, reclaiming her hand, she waved at Charlie before walking into the boarding area. After handing the not-so-patient attendant her ticket, she turned and called back to them,

"Bye guys! I love you, Dad!"

They waved back, and she walked into the connecting tunnel. After boarding the plane and stowing her gear, she sank down into her window seat with a sigh.

"I really need to figure out what to do with you, Jacob…" she whispered to herself.

Jacob had been her closest companion for months. They had continued to spend vast amounts of time together ever since he taught her how to ride a motorcycle.

Bella winced, still feeling guilty about hiding those bikes from Charlie, though she refused to give up riding. The freedom she got from the sheer thrill of the bike fueled her desire to ride, not to mention the rare instances when she pushed her boundaries and still heard _his_ voice. But that brought her back with what to do about Jacob.

She cared about Jacob, without a doubt. But she could never love again like she had before. There was a giant chasm in her chest. Jacob's persistent affection could temporarily bridge the gap, but it would never fully close. She was almost sure that Jacob knew that she would never recover from what happened after her birthday. Yet he still came around, never ceasing in his calm assurance of his affection. She too could never seem to push him away; she herself wanted his company too much.

Closing her eyes, she rested her head against the window with a soft groan.

"Can't seem to win for losing, can I?"

The attendants were just finishing their pre-flight presentations and the plane was beginning to take off. Settling into a more comfortable position, Bella sank into a doze and didn't wake up until the plane landed.

If she dreamt of vampires, or one in particular, well, she couldn't be held too accountable. Subconscious desires, and all…


End file.
